|Me and my current manuscript|
Always a loser, right?
When I was a kid, I was never a loser. I was always beautiful. Always successful. Always great. Always a winner. Because my momma said so. Those other kids be damned.
Now that I’m an adult, I have to bandage my own boo-boos, make my own insurance calls, clean up my own messes… Okay, who am I kidding? I always did that. Either way, I have no one now but my little ole self to stare down in the mirror. Chin up, shoulders back, head high, you’re a winner. A winner, I tell ya!
Not according to NaNo…
And I wasn’t just any kind of loser this year. I was a giant, roley-poley one. But I was no couch potato, I assure you. With a nearly full-time piano teaching job, teaching my pre-K music class, and taking care of a toddler, my life is pretty full. Then add on the reading, piano practicing, and writing requirements, and my life is an old stuffed suitcase popping apart at the seams. It’s overwhelming. Not that anyone else’s life isn’t. I know we (speaking mostly to you women ;) are constantly overwhelmed with the duties of life, whether you work and raise kids, or just do the kiddo-raising, it’s hard. Like really freaking hard! To have to add to that is just insanity, right?
|Me and my current life|
I don’t care. I see all you beautiful author people, having your babies, maybe working regular jobs, and making it happen. I know I’ll get there, too. I’ve just come to realize that this year isn’t my WINNER year. For NaNo, that is. Maybe next year, when my kiddo is in pre-school, I’ll have some longer chunks of time. The important things to me right now are: raising my son, making sure he’s happy, making sure our relationship is strong, teaching my kids and doing a darn good job of it. Anything extra has to be relegated to the bottom of the pile. For now. I am content with knowing that this won’t always be my life. My son will grow up, he’ll go to school, maybe (hopefully) I’ll be able to teach a little less, free up some more time. I know my shining moment will come, and someday I plan on earning that NaNo WINNER badge. But not this year, and I’m absolutely fine with that.
But now that I am a loser, I do have one beef with NaNo. I admit, before this year, I never actively participated in NaNo. I only heard about it a couple years ago, and had just finished a novel that March, and was not in the position to start a new one in November with my son being a baby at the time. But now that I’ve participated, I’m wondering – who the hell thought to have it in November?! Seriously!
During the mid-point of holiday/cold and flu season? Really?!
I know this wasn’t an issue for so many of you, because I’ve seen around the blogosphere there are a LOT of WINNERS out there, and GO YOU!! But, seriously, NaNo people, you could’ve picked a way better month. Like January. Everyone hates January. The post-holiday blues. That cranky winter thing that keeps us inside. Many great reasons to have it in January. Or February. Or March. But during the middle of the holiday season? Okay. I’m done.
To all of you NaNo WINNERS, CONGRATS! I am so proud of you. Right now, I’m just damn proud of myself that I’m writing consistently and not falling apart, lol.
That’s my life.