Saturday, December 1, 2012

Once a loser

Me and my current manuscript

Always a loser, right?

When I was a kid, I was never a loser. I was always beautiful. Always successful. Always great. Always a winner. Because my momma said so. Those other kids be damned.

Now that I’m an adult, I have to bandage my own boo-boos, make my own insurance calls, clean up my own messes… Okay, who am I kidding? I always did that. Either way, I have no one now but my little ole self to stare down in the mirror. Chin up, shoulders back, head high, you’re a winner. A winner, I tell ya!

Not according to NaNo…

And I wasn’t just any kind of loser this year. I was a giant, roley-poley one. But I was no couch potato, I assure you. With a nearly full-time piano teaching job, teaching my pre-K music class, and taking care of a toddler, my life is pretty full. Then add on the reading, piano practicing, and writing requirements, and my life is an old stuffed suitcase popping apart at the seams. It’s overwhelming. Not that anyone else’s life isn’t. I know we (speaking mostly to you women ;) are constantly overwhelmed with the duties of life, whether you work and raise kids, or just do the kiddo-raising, it’s hard. Like really freaking hard! To have to add to that is just insanity, right?

Me and my current life
I don’t care. I see all you beautiful author people, having your babies, maybe working regular jobs, and making it happen. I know I’ll get there, too. I’ve just come to realize that this year isn’t my WINNER year. For NaNo, that is. Maybe next year, when my kiddo is in pre-school, I’ll have some longer chunks of time. The important things to me right now are: raising my son, making sure he’s happy, making sure our relationship is strong, teaching my kids and doing a darn good job of it. Anything extra has to be relegated to the bottom of the pile. For now. I am content with knowing that this won’t always be my life. My son will grow up, he’ll go to school, maybe (hopefully) I’ll be able to teach a little less, free up some more time. I know my shining moment will come, and someday I plan on earning that NaNo WINNER badge. But not this year, and I’m absolutely fine with that.

But now that I am a loser, I do have one beef with NaNo. I admit, before this year, I never actively participated in NaNo. I only heard about it a couple years ago, and had just finished a novel that March, and was not in the position to start a new one in November with my son being a baby at the time. But now that I’ve participated, I’m wondering – who the hell thought to have it in November?! Seriously!

During the mid-point of holiday/cold and flu season? Really?!

I know this wasn’t an issue for so many of you, because I’ve seen around the blogosphere there are a LOT of WINNERS out there, and GO YOU!! But, seriously, NaNo people, you could’ve picked a way better month. Like January. Everyone hates January. The post-holiday blues. That cranky winter thing that keeps us inside. Many great reasons to have it in January. Or February. Or March. But during the middle of the holiday season? Okay. I’m done.

To all of you NaNo WINNERS, CONGRATS! I am so proud of you. Right now, I’m just damn proud of myself that I’m writing consistently and not falling apart, lol.

That’s my life.


  1. Honestly? I can't imagine being able to do any writing at all if I had a kid! I don't know how any parent does it, seriously. I only have cats and they really are not too demanding. And there's a reason I have cats and not other types of animals that ARE more demanding. So I wouldn't be beating yourself up about it at all! I like your plan of writing during January :) I personally love when a new year has started - makes me feel all re-motivated. Right now I can't wait for at least a little holiday!

  2. It's hard to fit in writing with all the demands of life!

  3. Good lawd - raising a child IS a full-time job!

    Visiting from the Baby Faces Blogfest.

    Give me a visit at my Countdown to Kitschmas hop -

  4. I am sorry to heard about NaNo. There is always next year. Plus it seems you have alot on your plate as it is- at least you are a winner in that aspect of your life.

  5. I cannot even begin to imagine all the stress that goes with nano and raising a kid and dealing with the holiday season and etc... but loved your post. and another have I not followed you yet? I thought I had already. so sorry. you are always so great about commenting on my posts and what nots. so again, sorry. :))

    1. No Problem, Mandy. Your blog is one of my favorites!

  6. Winner or not, it's good you have your priorities straight, and that's a lot better then being the mother who ignores her kid all November. ;)

  7. You are a winner!

    You made a really great point about timing. I've known several ppl who either got sick or too busy to finish.

  8. Thanks for making me feel better guys :)

  9. There's NaNo camp in summertime too! I think they're trying to get us to write all year long... :-)

  10. I'm a loser too, but oh well. I define me, not NaNo.

  11. I always think it doesn't matter about winning NaNo, but if you signed up chances are you wrote something, or were inspired by the community, and that's all that counts. This time of year there is so much going on socially, and you're right to put family first. They'll be plenty of time to win NaNo another year when your kids are older.